I recently had a personal loss that was very hard on me.

It still hurts to see his picture, but I promised myself I would put a dedication page together for him and it's time I did so. Maybe this page can help someone somewhere.

Cody was a Lowchen, only 6 years old, and he has been my best friend, sleeping partner, and "unconditionally loving family" for especially the last 3 or so years, tho I have had him since he was a puppy. I loved him very, very much, and I miss him a lot.

I don't have time now to say as much as I'd like to about him, so I'll just explain what happened.

Since about Thanksgiving or so, he hadn't really been eating right. He seemed to be finicky about what he ate, which he has occasionally been in the past, so I wasn't at all concerned.

I just thought he had a stomach bug or something as he has had in the past, and about a week or so after Thanksgiving I made him the "usual treatment" for stomach-related problems, which is a mixture of boiled ground beef and rice.

He started out eating this with his usual appetite and I had even started mixing in some of his regular dry dog food in to try to get him back to his normal diet.

During some of this time, he had been drinking much more than usual, and had started peeing near the door, which he had rarely if ever done before.

My mom was convinced that he had a bladder infection, and after he hadn't eaten anything for 2 days, I called the vet on a late Saturday afternoon.

They were closing for the weekend and suggested I take him to "Animal Emergency Services" (basically an Emergency Room for animals), but they said that there was a minimum $75.00 fee, which at the time I thought wasn't warranted, so I waited until Monday evening for a regular appointment with them.

Between Saturday and Monday evening I bought him baby food, cheese, cottage cheese, peanut butter, and he just didn't want to eat anything. I was concerned, but I had no idea of what was going on and how serious it was.

The vet visit was almost $200 as they couldn't find anything wrong (no temperature, etc.), had to do blood work, and sent me home with him.

The next day (Tuesday), the vet said that the bloodwork looked like pancreatitis and diabetes, and that I needed to take him to Animal Emergency Services (AES) for the kind of care he was going to need.

I still didn't think I would be losing him ... he was just 6 years old and I thought he would be around for a long, long time.

I called AES, got him in, and thanks to a dear friend, was able to provide the best possible care for him. That was Tuesday nite.

Wednesday nite my mom and I went to visit him about 6:30pm. The doctor on duty, Leni Kaplan, said she had treated animals like this in the past, but said that his chances were about 50/50. I thought for sure that he would make it through this.

I went alone to visit him again Thursday nite about 7pm, and when I got there and opened his cage, he just put his head on my shoulder, breathing kind of heavily.

They had him hooked up to all kinds of IVs - morphine for pain, something so he wouldn't throw up, insulin, amino acids, etc.

They told me he had been depressed most of the day, but after a little while of me being there, he seemed to cheer up and they unhooked him and let him down on the floor with me in the "intensive care" room.

I was afraid, and I couldn't help crying, as I am now.... He was such a sweet, loving, and beautiful friend, and I didn't want to lose him.

Doctor Kaplan didn't have time to talk to me as she was treating 2 emergency cases, and we agreed I would call her later as she was on until at least 2am.

I went home hopeful because he seemed a little better, I had seen his "chart", and I knew he was in the best hands he could be.

About 1am I called Dr. Kaplan, who I can't thank enough for her love and compassion.

She said that if I had not called her she was going to call me ..... she was afraid that Cody would not make it through the night, and wanted me to know this.

I got dressed quickly, threw one of Cody's favorite white little rugs and my slippers in a bag, and went down to see him.

They let me have an exam room alone, and they carried him in wrapped in a cozy blanket and handed him to me.

I laid him down on the floor, put his head on his little fuzzy white rug, and laid down next to him, holding him, for about the next hour or so.

I knew he was suffering, even tho he may not have been in physical pain ... I had made him a promise that if he got better, I would do everything and anything I possibly could to take care of him, regardless of the cost or anything else.

I knew he just couldn't pull through this, and I decided to do one last loving thing for him ... to take away his pain and suffering - I didn't want him to die alone, in a cage, in the cold.... I wanted him to know he was loved and to be with me when he died.

... more to come, but I just got finished with a good cry ...